Daily Reminder

The Reminder I set up on my phone is persistent, and I appreciate it.

This is your daily reminder. What are you grateful for today?

I am grateful for getting more sleep when my body tells me I need it.

I am grateful for all the help I have trying to raise my kids. My husband, my parents, therapists, doctors. They’re all critical.

I am grateful we haven’t had creditors calling us in the past 18 years, because creditor calls and letters suck ass.

I am grateful I have most of my debt in a debt management plan that helps me get those fuckers paid off because seriously, I fucking hate debt.

I am grateful we are able to pay our bills even though our income is altered right now.

I am grateful I have a job that is so flexible, and that I’m able to work in the office right now.

I am grateful for the new idea to work on my penmanship with a little bit of daily practice. (I’ll post some updates soon.)

There’s more, but I’m also crunched for time.


Back to it!

Greetings and salutations, friends!

It’s Monday morning, and I go back to the office today and resume my regular, pre stay-at-home order schedule. Our state has reopened somewhat, so this is the next step. We’ve taken some steps there to separate people a bit, keeping space between us, and everyone will be all masked up. So I’m not too worried at the moment. Fingers crossed.

I am making good progress with my book, and behind with filming. I’m not sure there’s much else to say about that.

Well, this is awkward. Now I don’t have anything to say.

Oh, wait. I kind of do. I’m working through my book, as I said, by the Chicken Soup for the Soul guy. My progress is slower than usual (maybe I mentioned this, forgive me if I did) since I’m trying to do the “assignments” as they come up instead of just reading past them, promising myself that I’ll do them later, and then never doing them.

The current “assignment” is to make a list of 101 Goals, share them, then make weekly updates. I’m not sure if I’ll end up doing that publicly here, or privately with friends (who am I kidding? Probably here). One thing I’m sure about is that part of what he’s asking, to make them so specific that they have deadlines, isn’t working for me. I much prefer the advice of writing goals in present tense, as if they’re already here, so I’ll do that instead. My deadlines are just random guesses. I could do the thing where I separate them into years – 1 year goals, 5 year goals, 10 year goals, etc. That might be enough.

And honestly, that “assignment” is a lot like the Start Today journal I already do, listing 10 dreams as if they’ve already happened.

Okay, well, as I said, I’m back at the office today, so I need to get moving. Shower, teeth, getting dressed in dressy clothes I don’t really like.

That’s actually something I noted in the list of things I’m grateful for today, that I realize I deserve better than pants that don’t stay up well and clothing that I’m not in love with. My current pair of summer at-home pants are loose yoga pants that keep falling down, and my favorite jeans haven’t stayed up for years. Normally it’s not a huge problem, but I have been walking more, and the natural result of that is that I need a different size than I have. My inclination is to just keep wearing what I have until it wears out somewhere that’s impossible to fix, but damn. I shouldn’t keep wearing things that don’t fit. I deserve better than that.

I think I could adjust even my work uniform to be more like what I’d prefer to wear, if I put some time into searching for what I want. Then again, my inclination is to just keep wearing what I have until it wears out somewhere that isn’t worth fixing. Thankfully, I think one pair is almost at that point, if not two. Wish me luck finding some nice boot leg or wide leg black jeans.

Oops, look at the time. I’d better get moving.

I hope you have a great day! Heck, I hope I have a great day!

And if you aren’t having a great day, I hope you have a good day.

And if you aren’t having a good day, I hope tomorrow is better.


Late to bed, early to rise…wait, no.

I went to bed very late last night in an attempt to get a video recorded, edited, and at least uploaded if not also posted. But then there was a blip with the Internet, and I had to start the upload again, and wah, wah, wah.

At any rate, this morning, I was woken very early by my youngest, and it was necessary for me to stay awake instead of just greeting them, finding out if they just intended to sleep downstairs, and then go back to sleep.

So I am quite tired.

But I did get the video uploaded and posted on Patreon (oh, hey! I post my videos there a day early, if you’re interested) before 6 am. and I have been saying lately that I want to wake up early, and so I did get my wish on that count.

Be careful what you wish for.

The chaos ensues in our home in ever increasing amounts. Sorry, not sorry that I can’t share more, but suffice to say that I am stress-filled and on the verge of tears on a whim. I’ve made several phone calls and not gotten much day job work done, but I have done a little, and I got an offer for time off if I need it. It’s a nice offer, but I know that’s not feasible. I’ll just keep doing what I can do, and if there’s something time-sensitive that I can’t manage because of appointments or other pressing family matters, I know that I can pass them off to a coworker and things will keep rolling.

The working from home is in my favor in this manner. If I weren’t working from home, I would need to take time off to handle some of this. Since I am, I can make and take the phone calls when I need to, and if I have to leave for something, I can leave for something.

For as long as I am employed by my current employer, I will be grateful for their understanding that family has to come first.

Teary. Stop it.

Like I said, I filmed last night. I learned new editing things with Adobe Premier Pro, so that was really, really nice. I think the vlog/video/whatever it was turned out well. (It’ll be public on YouTube tomorrow morning, as previously mentioned.) I did get a little distracted by the N word again. No, not Nicki (that’s my name) – “niche”. Stupid word. I would probably be less irritated by the word if I could feel like I have a definitive pronunciation of it.

I would love to film again today, but I think I’ll do better if I don’t force it. Kind of like here – there have been huge gaps of time between posts from time to time. Right now, I’m still thinking about my darned streak. Tomorrow, maybe I’ll forget. I’m just going to play it by ear. I still would like to do a posts about my journals, and the books I read to get to the place where I am today, which, overall, is a fairly good place most of the time. Positive mental space and all that.

It doesn’t help that right now I’m also dealing with the emotional rollercoaster that is my menstrual cycle. TMI? Too bad. Honestly, I think we need to have more conversations about things that have been traditionally deemed squicky (periods), uncomfy (mental health), taboo (money, but that’s still a hard one for me), because if we aren’t talking about it, we don’t know that other people are possibly struggling with those things as well.

Maybe I’ll make a video about that someday. It’s hard, though, because there are things I experience as a Mom that I can’t share with everyone. I can allude, but some things are my children’s stories, or my husband’s story, and while I have a part of that, the story is ultimately not mine. So I’m still trying to figure out how to have those conversations.

Anyhoo. I hope you’re having a good day.

If you’re not having a good day, I hope you’re having an okay day.

If you’re not having an okay day, I hope tomorrow is better than today.


Gratitude… | #AtoZ #LetterG #nonfiction

…because it’s necessary.

Hi! I know you stopped by looking for an A-Z post of a short story, or perhaps the craft of writing. Perhaps you even looked so far as to see that my theme is “Catching Up.” Well, while I did spending a couple of days “catching up”, so at least on that point I’m on theme, there may actually be no fiction or writing talk.

I am grateful that I am still employed.

I am grateful that my husband is still employed.

I am grateful that recording YouTube videos makes me happier, even when I’m having a bad day.

I am grateful for my adorable cats.

proof of cat’s adorableness

I am grateful for lots of things, but sometimes I still have bad days. Today is a bad day. It’s not the worst day, though, and I’ll feel better tomorrow, I’m sure. Or the day after that. Definitely by the weekend.

I hope.

Oh, I also took a decent selfie.



Two posts in a month!

So, like many other people in the world, I am now working from home. I am grateful I am still employed, as is my husband.

I’ve been a little injury-prone since moving to work from home (WFH from here on out). On Thursday I was walking into the bedroom and my elbow hit the door. It just hurt so I didn’t think anything of it, but later I looked at it and realized I’d been bleeding. There’s a nice little 1/2″ laceration right on the pointy bit.

And then this morning, I was washing dishes. Most of my knives are dull as I’ve owned them for ages and haven’t sharpened them ever, but I used a different one than usual on Friday when preparing dinner, and when washing it, it slipped and it tried to cut off my fingertip. Both Youths stepped up and one finished the dishes for me while I tried not to faint or barf while the other was willing to wait for brunch while I recovered.

I haven’t been walking as much as I was doing in the latter part of February and the early part of March, but Junior Youth and I went for walks on Thursday and Friday because the weather was so nice.

I am very grateful that our school district is providing free lunches to go for the entire student population, not just those on reduced price lunch plans. We’ve been going by every day, and I get the feeling that not a lot of families are taking advantage of it. I don’t know how long it will last, but it’s giving us a little relief.

There have been a couple of ideas tickling my brain lately. One, I think it would be fun to have a YouTube channel. I’ve always kind of thought it would be fun, but I figured I’d never be good enough at Minecraft to give it a go.

But then again, why do I have to be good at it? I keep the blog because I like it, not because I’m particularly witty, or regular, or anything like that. It just feels necessary. And yeah, it’s more online journal than it is blog – that’s a result of when I started, I’m sure. I started when Greymatter and Livejournal were the things. Does anyone out there remember Greymatter and Noah Grey?

So the thought is I start a YouTube. It may just start out as a video journal that ends up being a diary of my family’s trip through this New Normal. It may be gaming (although I doubt it). It’s basically going to be more content to fill the need that people like me to have things to watch to distract us from our own problems.

The other thought I had was to start a Patreon account. Much like YouTube, I don’t really know why I’d like to do this. I mean, clearly there’s a potential to bring in extra income. However, I could do that by continuing to write books and sell them. There’s the fact that it’s another income stream, and that’s a good idea to have a bunch of those (as a writer or as any independent contractor, to be honest).

But I don’t have a huge tribe, and I don’t have a huge following – these have felt like prerequisites in the past. I also don’t have a newsletter right now, and I am not shelling out money again for a post office box I won’t use, so I am unlikely to have one for the foreseeable future.

A Patreon still sounds like a good idea, though, as a way to allow people who like my stories to support me, and as a way to keep me accountable. I’m thinking I could just have a $1 level (because I have found other creators do this and I like the no-pressure approach) and put up a short story every week. I also thought about having that same $1 level and putting up a story every two weeks at that level, and then on the opposite weeks post something for free. All of those stories I could then put up for sale on Smashwords, because sometimes it’s easier to read in your e-reader of choice, and sometimes people want to pay more.

I don’t know. It sounds like an idea, and it’s an idea I like.

So that’s what’s been going on lately. Some thoughts I had, some injuries I’ve sustained, and some things I’m grateful for.

Oh, and I haven’t forgotten about the A-Z challenge that starts on Wednesday. I mean, I haven’t prepped for it yet, but I have thought about it.

Close enough.