It’s just a mood, and it’ll probably pass, but I’m kind of meh. It may have something to do with a Twitch streamer I usually enjoy watching argue with his audience about white privilege, and me getting frustrated with his constant arguments with people trying to set him straight. Twitch is a hard place to have a conversation, with so many voices going at once. I felt overwhelmed and irritated, so I left and temporarily paused notifications on his new material. I’ll resubscribe someday.

It’s Sunday. I have to pick up groceries, and I got an afternoon time so I’ll go out a little early with Junior Youth and we’ll get desired fast food lunches for ourselves and bring something back for Elder Youth and DH as well, if they’re interested.

And I have already “ruined” my YouTube uploading schedule. Now I say “ruined” but I don’t really mean it. Nothing is ruined because nothing is set in stone, and, well, it’s just not ruined. But whatever. I’m not sure why I said that. No, I do. I said I wanted to upload on particular days, and I missed a particular day, and so it feels like a failure, but it’s really not.

Well, not in the way “failure” implies, that the whole thing is ruined and not worth picking up again. It’s just a thing that happened, and I’ll figure it out. Maybe find a way to make it easier on myself, maybe record something in a different style, whatever. I had wanted to try recording and editing on my phone, so perhaps I’ll try that today since one child is occupied on the computer and the other is occupied in their room.

Not much else going on. I’m still working my way through Mad Men, and I’m afraid I won’t make it through all seven seasons before it’s removed from Netflix. Well, I’ll get as far as I can. It’s not like I haven’t seen it before. 😉

Actually, it’d be better if I stopped watching it, since there are other things I’d like to see, but the part of me that likes to finish one thing before starting another is stopping me from taking the two hours to watch another show. Bah.

Well, it’s now nearing 10:30 am, and I need to shower, brush teeth, do all those morning things that need to happen just as much as all the journals that I usually make time for first. Shower, teeth, reading, meditating, recording…


I hope you’re having a great day, and if you’re not having a great day I hope you’re having a good day, and if you’re not having a good day, I hope tomorrow is better. Loves!

Discipline… | #AtoZ #LetterD #nonfiction

…I no has it.

Hi! I know you stopped by looking for an A-Z post of a short story, or perhaps the craft of writing. Perhaps you even looked so far as to see that my theme is “Catching Up.” Well, while I am spending a couple of days “catching up”, so at least on that point I’m on theme, there may actually be no fiction or writing talk.

Oh, hello! I believe I’m caught up now. Today is Saturday, April 4th, and it’s the day that the D posts should appear for the A-Z Blogging Challenge. Perhaps at this point I’ll manage to work up some fiction posts for this month, too.

I doubt, however, that I’ll end up with something resembling a publishable book at the end of it, though. I did that once (referral link, because I’m lazy), and I loved the finished product. But I haven’t done it since, and I don’t see that changing.

I hope you enjoyed the cat pictures from earlier. I moved one of them into the header because the cats and the bird are just too damn adorable.

So what’s on tap for the rest of my day? Well, I made a list of things I wanted to get done in one of my journals today. The list included:

  • record an introduction YouTube episode
    • plan the episode
    • film the episode
  • write a short story
  • catch up on my A-Z blogs
    • C
    • D
  • vacuum the stairs
  • clean the table next to my chair
  • clean out the drawers next to my chair

The last three things on the list can’t be done until I get back home (I don’t have laundry facilities in my house), so I’ll get to those tomorrow, most likely.

I’m working on the D post now, so that’ll be wrapped up soon.

So the other two things on my list are filming that episode, and writing a short story. I need to work on shaking my Critical Voice out of my head for both, to be honest. I want to do both because I think they’ll both be fun. They become less fun when my Critical Voice tries to remind me that both have to be Perfect before I can do them. I know that’s not true, but it’s hard to feel that, you know?

I was actually watching a Twitch streamer today who suggested that if we want to get a YouTube channel started, just record those first videos and leave them private if necessary. Just to get out there and do it, and get the hang of how to do things.

It was like she was speaking directly to me. It’s perfectly no-risk to do that, and the practice is what I need to figure out how to get going.

Oddly enough, I’m watching another Twitch streamer right now who said if he didn’t already have a YouTube channel right now, he wouldn’t start one. He reminded his audience that it’s a lot of hard work, and years of people not watching your channel before you get good at your craft and pick up your people.

He could have been speaking directly to me, but I do know these things. I know these things from being a writer. I’m a baby writer, and I don’t earn much, and the only people who read my stories, for the most part, are people who know me.

And I’m okay with that.

I’m from Iowa. I’m not a farm girl, but I was farm-adjacent growing up. I know that a shitload of work goes into a farm and there’s a lot of time between planting and harvest. So I’m prepared to not get immediate results. It’s okay. I’ll live through it.

I think if you want to try creative things you have to be okay with that. If you want to work for yourself, you have to be okay with that.

There’s a reason people keep pushing the message that you have to be comfortable failing to make progress.

Happy “All Caught Up With the A-Z Blogging Challenge” Day!

January status

January didn’t go well.

I mean, it kind of did. I wrote a very short piece of fiction and posted it on the blog. I had a birthday and lived through it. My two kids are awesome and my family is as healthy as usual, and I got to spend some time with friends.

But I failed both with moving 20 minutes a day and writing 30 minutes a day every day of January. I hit maybe five days total. Does this sound familiar to you? It sounds like every single story I’ve heard from disenchanted New Year’s Resolution-setters, and it is not unfamiliar to me, either.

Here’s the thing, though. I failed, but I also succeeded. I went for several really great walks which felt amazing, and I haven’t done that in a really long time. I didn’t do it every day, but I did it a few times, and it was good. I wrote a bit more on a story I had thought would be done by Christmas, and those are words that my undiagnosed, depression-prone head wouldn’t have otherwise cared about getting done.

So a fail, but a win.

I’m going to not think about February tomorrow until February hits tomorrow, because today was enough.

What I will say is this: write more and move more are still good goals.