Nicki Gets Distracted

April Challenges

There are a variety of 30-day challenges in April, and I’m not taking part in any of them. But a couple of them have been fun for me in the past, and you have a couple of days to sign up for them still, so I thought I’d tell you about them.

Camp NaNoWriMo

If you’ve done National Novel Writing Month in November, this is similar except it’s in April, you set your own goal, and you have cabins instead of forums. The Camp NaNo site says:

Complete a writing project in a month
Track your progress
Get online support
Free to participants
100% fun

Here’s the link to their site. You should totally do this thing.

Blogging from A to Z

This one is fun, too. If you have a blog and you want more visitors and want to find new blogs, you should do this blog hop. I know two of the hosts, and they put a lot of effort into making this a quality event. Their website says the following:

It all began with my post from Saturday March 27, 2010 when I set forth a challenge to all bloggers for the month of April. Can you post every day except Sundays during this month? And to up the bar, can you blog thematically from A to Z?
A to Z Blog

So the bonus to this challenge is that you can combine this challenge with the one before. What? Yes, that’s totally a thing. I’ve done it, and I’ve published the two books that came from it. Lots of people have.

Here’s the link to their site. You should totally do this thing, too.

Etc

I found a few other challenges to share, ones that I haven’t participated in before. But who doesn’t love a little guided creativity in their lives? In no particular order…

A half-year of monthly challenges at your fingertips!

I don’t know if it’s Insta or Gram, but here’s one for that one.

I love photo challenges. I found another.

Want to make up your own challenge? Dip your toes into this idea pool.

My fear of failure keeps me from declaring dedication to 30-days of doing anything right now, but who knows. If it ends up I do manage something daily, maybe I’ll mention it from time to time.

Go. Find your challenge.

Updating you on my head and my life

Good afternoon! I have not been blogging lately, and for that, I apologize. For the first half of the month, I was quite out of sorts for no reason in particular. Now that I’m back in sorts, I’m having a hard time finding the motivation.

I noticed something just now, just before I typed in the URL of this blog to compose a message. I realized that I wanted to twit something on Twitters, but I didn’t have anything Deep or Meaningful to say, or something to Stand For, or an injustice to point out. It felt like my comments about not liking to wear dress pants at work, or about how the day seems to be stretching on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on

and on…

that those things were inappropriate for the platform. And then I had another notice: that I’ve been feeling that way about my blog lately, too. I don’t have anything neat to say, or insightful, or pin-worthy, or trendy, and that seems to be only my problem. Everyone else seems to be managing it fabulously.

Of course, I started blogging when they were little more than online journals. I had myself a Geocities page where I learned to code HTML, and I had myself a Greymatter blog where I learned to code websites, and the E/N website was The Thing, and then people drifted to LiveJournal, and I kind of fell behind. And now people have websites that sell things and ads, and they’re about lifestyles and they have ebooks, and side hustles, and I don’t get that kind of blogging.

I don’t have great insights about today’s injustices.

I don’t have an ebook to sell telling you how to minimize your vegan, zero-waste tiny house.

I don’t even have any new fiction these days. I’m not sure I even consider myself a writer anymore.

I can update you about my life – but not too much, because my privacy is important to me, and the privacy of my family, except once in a while I’ll forget that and overshare, or I’ll get it in my head that if people don’t share more about unmedicated, undiagnosed depression, and about living in debt, and about raising responsible children, then people like me will never find the resources they need to survive, and I’ll think I can share some of my stuff, but then it’ll just come off like Vaguebooking, and that’s just irritating.

I’m not sure why I’m here. I’m trying to figure it all out without sounding whiny or boring people with my ennui.

Ultimately, though, I need to remember that this is my space. This little blog of mine, that I have for three years, is mine, mine, mine. If I don’t have anything insightful, that’s okay. If I don’t have commentary on our political landscape, cool.

If I want to call everyone “dude” and swear and change my layout every three seconds, I can do that, because I live here.

It’s nice of you to stop by!

Luck

I’m going to be doing the Blog All About It blog challenge by herding cats & burning soup . If you like to blog, it’s not too late to start!

So, luck’s for March, is it? Okay, then.

Four leaf clovers

I can’t find them. I’m not that person. I’ve met those people, but I’m not them.

Pennies, heads or tails

I don’t believe it’s bad luck to pick up a penny that’s landed face down (tails) – it’s money. I don’t care how it’s landed. A coworker used to say, “It all adds up.” And it does.

Black cats

Incredibly lucky if you’re loved by one. Perhaps less so if you have the misfortune to be on their bad side. My black cat, Shadow (almost Midnight, occasionally President Shadow, inspiration for Inky), is adorable and fluffy and sweet and I really can’t imagine that it could ever be bad luck to have him in my life. He is the only one I’ve had to take to the vet since getting fixed, though. Hmm…

Broken mirrors

They’re bad luck if you get glass in your foot, so please avoid them.

Ladders, walking under

That’s just a bad idea. It’s bad luck because something is likely to fall on your head, or you’re going to nudge the ladder out of its precarious balance, and someone is going to fall on your head. Don’t do it unless you’ve really got no other safe choice.

Salt, spilling

I hate bugs, so I’m not tossing salt over my shoulder if I spill it in the kitchen on the off chance that it attracts undesirables. Nope. Not gonna do it.

13

Never did anything to hurt me, so I’m fine with it, too. Friday the 13th is a lovely day and is occasionally a family member’s birthday. Can’t go wrong there. I didn’t always feel that way, though. I have been superstitious about the number in the past.

7

I never particularly had any kind of affection for the number 7 as a lucky number, although my grandmother did. My lucky number is 42-7, sometimes written as 42₇, for no particular reason.

Horseshoes

Well, if you do believe horseshoes are lucky, make sure you hang them right side up above your doorway so the luck doesn’t spill out. (That’s in a “U” shape, not a “n” shape.)

Rabbit’s foot

Not very lucky for the rabbit, is it? I used to think they were lucky, except when I realized they were actually rabbit feet, I got a bit grossed out. The Monkey’s Paw may have had something to do with that.

“Advent” project – help needed

So a few years ago I read something somewhere online about a cute thing for your kids – you get 24 children’s books and wrap them up and then each day of advent your kid picks a book to open and read. They could be books from your shelves, new books, all Christmas themed, whatever. Just 24 books, wrapped, and the kid picks.

And let me tell you, I loved that idea. I loved that idea so much, that I thought to myself, “Self, you need to write yourself a collection of books that you could sell as a package, except maybe they’re for adults, and maybe they come pre-wrapped, but they’re definitely 24 separate books.”

And that general idea has been swimming around in my head for several years. Sometimes I forget about it for a while. Usually I remember sometime between late October and early December when it’s too late.

This year, I’ve remembered in February.

So I’m starting to brainstorm this idea. Will it be novel-length, 30,000-80,000 word pieces? The answer to that is oh so very probably not. I’ve been stuck lately. Badly stuck. When I have managed to write, I haven’t been finishing. It sucks, and I hate it. So it will likely be short stories – 3,000-10,000 word things. Possible to write in the time available while A) pushing my current habits to grow into new ones, and B) keeping my sanity.

They will all need to fit the general theme of “advent”, since I’d like to market them as a lead-up to Christmas gift. They’ll need to be long enough – somehow – to merit publishing each one as an individual paperback, because even though I don’t think many people will want to buy 24-27 paperbacks for a Christmas gift. They’ll absolutely be available as a collection, too – paperback and ebook.

So here’s where I’d like some input.

I have a page full of words I associate with Christmas, Advent, and the holidays – probably 50 or so. Most are positive, some are just objects, and some are negative.

I would love it if you could help me add to my list.

I only have my experiences to draw on, and they are fairly average. I know not everyone has picture perfect holiday experiences and associations, and not everyone has the Christian background with the December holidays that I do. If you’re able and willing to drop a list of a few words in the comments (or more than a few words, to be honest), I’d appreciate it. The inspiration would be greatly appreciated.

I hope to start writing my stories soon – maybe not this week, but soon – and I hope to be done by July or August. Don’t be afraid to share words that are negative, and don’t feel like you need to explain anything to me.

Thank you! ❤

Pink

I’m going to be doing the Blog All About It blog challenge by herding cats & burning soup because I stumbled on it through another author’s blog and it ~~sounds like~~ is a lot of fun!

February’s prompt is pink. This is kind of super appropriate for me because pink is my color. I’ve said for several years that the moment I don’t have to worry about getting fired for pink hair, the hair is going 100% bright pink. Not a shy pink, either. No pastels for me.

I am one of those women (and I was one of those girls) that loves everything pink. Pink clothes, although I stick to pink tops these days, pink notebooks, pink paper, pink pens, pink backpacks, pink dresses. I don’t particularly think it was because I was “supposed” to like that color just because I was a girl – my mom’s favorite color is blue, and while that always baffled me (blue is nice and all, but it’s not pink, man!), fine. Everyone has different tastes.

Please forgive the state of my carpet.

Those are my essential pink items. The phone case, watchband, pen case, and traveler’s journal go with me everywhere daily. The laptop sleeve/case is used any time the computer leaves the house, and the water bottle I’m trying to develop a daily relationship with.

And it probably should be mentioned that the pink pen case carries one pink glitter pen and one pink ultra-fine pen. No, those are not my only pink ink pens.

Of course. While the front of my glasses are a darker purple in an attempt to not be too flashy, the inside and the arms are a lovely, bright color that you can almost see in this photo. I wasn’t sure about these because the arms are also very thin, but I love them now.

In these two boxes I keep a ream of lovely pink writing paper, and letter-writing supplies.

This is not the full extent of the pink in my home. Notebooks, a giant soft die, a 6″ binder with a double-spaced, fixed font manuscript inside, a blanket, pens (pink barrel and pink ink), and a caticorn’s horn are just a few of the pink things I can see at this moment.

Oh, and the toes of my socks.

I think what I’ll try to do for the rest of the month is find as many pink things in my life as I can, and I’ll report back with photos. My purse might be pink, but it’s also kind of red. There’s my coat which could charitably be called cranberry, but that’s not quite pink. But photos. I’ll grab them and post them, and create a lovely pink gallery because pink is the color. At least, pink is my color. I get it if you don’t love it as much as I do. It’s not for everyone.

Prompted: broken

gin. on Twitter has a Patreon and I’m a patron of hers and she sends me a writing prompt every Thursday. I’m going to try to use every prompt this year and publish them here, and at the end of the year I’ll stuff them together in a book and see if anyone will toss money at me in exchange for reading them all in one place.

I wish I knew what to say, but I don’t.

I never do.

“I’m sorry” gets old.

It’s never enough.

“I’m sorry,” I say anyway, because saying nothing is worse.

“You don’t have to apologize,” she lies.

I can be silent now that I’ve apologized, so I stare at my feet, which is a mistake. I can see the shattered pieces of whatever it is that I’ve just broken. Evidence of my unfortunate talent.

How do I know she’s lying? I can hear you screaming the question at me.

Because they always are. Polite words betrayed by sighs, irritation radiating off like heatwaves that cause the air to ripple in the distance. What else can I expect, though, when my mere presence causes such havoc?

I can’t blame them for being angry. They have that right.

I’m not just clumsy, you know. It’s more than that. I seem to invite fragile things to leap into the air and fling themselves against hard surfaces when I’m near. Floors, walls…bathtubs (more than once).

It’s a problem.

I’m so lost in my thoughts that I’m ashamed to say I nearly jump out of my skin when she puts her hand on my sleeve.

I’d forgotten she was still there.

She snatches her hand back, but her body doesn’t move.

My eyes stay on my feet, despite being startled, and so I see her crouch down to examine the carnage. The pieces catch the light and look like they want to dance, and she picks up some of the larger pieces to examine them.

“They’re perfect,” she says.

Wait. What?

“I can totally use these. They’re exactly what I needed!”

“What are you talking about?”

She picks through the sparkling pile and gathers particular pieces. They’re all broken, I can’t imagine what good they are to her.

I start again when she jumps back to her feet. She has ignored the smallest and largest pieces. They lay in the street, in the sun, evidence of my destructive power.

Damn it.

“Come with me,” she invites. She’s got her shards gathered in the pocket of her shirt so they don’t cut her hands. One holds the pocket together, the other beckons me to follow.

I’m curious enough to do it, maybe because once I offer a slight nod, she turns and starts walking and doesn’t look back to see if I follow. It makes me feel a little less intrusive. A bit less guilty.

She really doesn’t seem to mind.

Then again, maybe she’s taking me to a trap, where she can beat the price of whatever I broke out of me.

But she doesn’t seem like that type. She seems sweet and genuine, and yes, there’s no way to be able to tell that, but it kind of sits on her like a hat.

Or maybe an aura, but I can’t see those. Anyway, it’s just a feeling.

She doesn’t dart, but she doesn’t dawdle, either. She leads for long enough to make me think I should stop and let her go on ahead, to let the crowd swallow her up. I’m about as good at second guessing as I am at breaking things.

Just when my feet are ready to stop and I’ve convinced myself that she didn’t really mean it, and she was just being nice, she pauses. She looks back, and smiles, and hooks a sharp right into a doorway.

And because she looked and smiled, my feet keep moving.

She’s disappeared from the doorway once I reach it, and I’m as careful as I can be as I move through it. I’m careful of my elbows, and my feet. My hips tend to brush against tottering tables with expensive vases, so I keep an eye out for any of those.

I’m so busy trying to keep track of my parts and make sure nothing fragile encounters me, that I don’t notice the space.

“Over here,” she calls.

She’s across the room. I look at the expanse I have to cross, and then forget to be careful.

It doesn’t matter. There’s nothing to break – everything has already been broken.

Mosaics made of of broken pots and vases, and other fragile, breakable things cover the floor, reassembled from their pieces into illustrations of themselves. One doesn’t walk on art, but there’s no choice. The center path is worn smooth but is no less vibrant for that fact.

The sun falls through a window and illuminates a spot ahead, and I walk toward it. Toward her.

“I only get to keep the pieces that break,” she explained. “And I can’t bring myself to break them, even when they’re not usable.”

She gestures to a shelf, and I look.

Malformed mugs. Collapsed vases. Magnificently painted and fired, but imperfect.

“I can’t break them,” she says with a sheepish smile. “I love them too much, but when they are broken, they become beautiful again.”

Oh.

“I can help with that.”

January status

January didn’t go well.

I mean, it kind of did. I wrote a very short piece of fiction and posted it on the blog. I had a birthday and lived through it. My two kids are awesome and my family is as healthy as usual, and I got to spend some time with friends.

But I failed both with moving 20 minutes a day and writing 30 minutes a day every day of January. I hit maybe five days total. Does this sound familiar to you? It sounds like every single story I’ve heard from disenchanted New Year’s Resolution-setters, and it is not unfamiliar to me, either.

Here’s the thing, though. I failed, but I also succeeded. I went for several really great walks which felt amazing, and I haven’t done that in a really long time. I didn’t do it every day, but I did it a few times, and it was good. I wrote a bit more on a story I had thought would be done by Christmas, and those are words that my undiagnosed, depression-prone head wouldn’t have otherwise cared about getting done.

So a fail, but a win.

I’m going to not think about February tomorrow until February hits tomorrow, because today was enough.

What I will say is this: write more and move more are still good goals.

❤

Prompted: indulge me

I’ve been spending a lot of time on Twitter lately and there’s a person there promoting her Patreon (as one does), which I have an odd fascination with, and she’s very motivational, and I thought…okay. I’ll be her patron for a small monthly amount because A) I can use some extra motivation, and B) it looks like she’s close to a goal and maybe I can push her over the threshold. (I didn’t, actually, but it was worth a shot.)

One thing gin. does is she puts on Patreon a creative prompt one day a week, and I’m going to start doing the prompts. I’m not going to edit them or think really hard about them, I’m just going to do some creating.

Buckle in.

Prompt complements of gin. (@showupforthis and showupforthis.com).

indulge me

“I’d like a room, please.”

“Of course.” clickity clickity “We have one room available tonight.”

“What kind of room?”

“The most expensive kind, with the softest towels and bed linens, and the largest shower, and the most luxurious bath.”

“Does it come with any free things?”

clickity clickity clickity “In fact it does. There are many free things. Would you like to activate them?”

“I would, please. Thank you.”

click click…stab “Very fine. Your free things will await you in your room. Is there anything else?”

“No, this should do just fine.”

“Very well.” click print whrrrrrr “If you could please sign over your firstborn child.”

scribble scribble…return “Here.”

“Lovely.” beam “I hope you enjoy your stay at our fine establishment. Use extension 9 if you need assistance with any of your free things, and extension 6 if you would like to spend ridiculous amounts of money for any reason. We would love to take your money from you.” lusty sigh

elevated eyebrow “Thank you?” back away…slowly

step step step step

finger trails on walls

slight finger waves toward surveilance cameras

step step step…button push

wait

elevator

step step step step

“I believe this is my room.”

“Indeed, it is.”

“Are you one of my free things?”

“I am.” blank face…no eyes, no nose, no mouth, just an almond shape meant to imply an actual face “I am your butler.”

“Will you open my door, then?” pause “Thank you.”

“Your room contains all the free things available at this ridiculously expensive level. Your free computer with six bonus monitors and faster than fast network connection is resting on the antique desk in the corner. The chair has been upgraded to the Special Elite Gamer Chair with Reclining and Waste Removal function so you never have to leave it if you desire.”

“That is a rather attractive feature.” face scrunch resembling disgust

“As I have been told. Your very tall and very large bed has been made with the sumptuously soft bedding – another of your free things – and a small elevation panel has been installed to assist you in getting in to your bed to sleep.” pause “However, taking in your height, it’s possible you may not need it as many of our patrons do.”

“That is a possibility.”

“Indeed. Continuing, the closet, just over there,” point “contains an entire wardrobe that is customized to your measurements that we received when you signed over your firstborn at registration, including – but not limited to – a ball gown and appropriate prescious stone laden accessories worth more than your firstborn could ever manage to pay back in its lifetime, a replication of every item of clothing you have ever worn, and a super suit.”

“A super suit?”

nod “In case you find yourself in need of disguise while fighting crime. We also received the most likely possibilities of what your superpowers would be by analyzing your history of entertainment consumption.”

“I hope it’s pink, with sparkles.”

nod “It may also contain a rainbow cape. I couldn’t possibly say.”

bounce excite…cough “Is that all?”

“Not in the least. There is a stash of money hidden under the bed in the event you need to ransom someone. A pile of passports and alternate identities are in the lower left rear desk drawer for every conceivable city-state currently in existance, and an additional one for The Place Where The United States Once Stood, if you’re feeling particularly,” pause “inclined to move your expiration date forward.”

“I am not.” thoughtful “May I keep that one as a souveneir?”

“You may. As a reminder, all free things are yours for life, provided you meet all 42-7 criteria in the contract you signed at registration.”

polite “Thank you!”

irritated “May I continue?”

contained “Of course.”

“Any meal you choose to order will be brought to your door in 30 seconds or less, by penalty of death, and your food selection is restricted only by your allergies. There is a full and complete collection of all published books ever in the Library of Infinite Shelving, and it can be accessed through that very narrow door in the corner.”

“That seems inconvenient.”

“The very narrow door is much larger than its description would indicate.”

scoff “If you say so.”

“I do. Now, please remember to feed the Norwegian Forest Cat that we have derived as your pet of choice, as I believe he may be quite hungry after 248 years of stasis and inclined to eat limbs that are not carefully guarded.”

“I will be sure to order for him, first.”

“And don’t let him out of your room, as he has already gnawed through my last good foot while I stood here giving your tour.”

glance “I will make sure to give you an ample head start.” snicker

“And do not, under any circumstances, get the pillow wet with tears. It invalidates your contract.”

blink “The blankets are fine, though, if I feel the need to cry?”

pause process pause search…zero results “The blankets are fine.”

“Then I will be sure to cover the pillows.”

“That is all we ask. Is everything to your satisfaction?”

“Indeed. I feel very…indulged.”

“And that is all we ever hope for. Please call me if you require my assistance with anything during your stay.”

“Thank you very much.”

pause “No, I couldn’t possibly accept your non-existent attempt to offer me gratuity. You are too kind.” sarcasm

“I do what I can. You are excused, now.”

“Certainly.” blip

alone silence perfection

“Brrrowr?”

irritation “How about an android foot for dinner?”

fin

2019 Wishlist

The first couple weeks of January have gone by, and we are officially past the halfway point.

Woo!

I’ve been thinking about the two goals I set for January, but am having a hard time keeping up with them. Nothing particular is getting in my way except myself and my own lack of willpower. I’m currently listening to The Power Of Habit and I’m learning some interesting things that might help me get back on track.

Enough about what’s not working, and get to the point, Nicki.

Okay!

I was watching to one of the many YouTube creators I’m subscribed to, and one person had a massive list of goals for last year, and I really enjoyed listening to her list the goals and add a Swedish-accented, “Check!” after each one. And really, I do have more than just two huge goals I want to accomplish. Maybe they won’t all happen this year, but also maybe if I don’t verbalize them, they’ll never happen.

And maybe I’m just generally full of crap. But I’m still going to share the list I made – here we go!

Random List of Things I’d Like to Do Someday so Why Not Now?

Start a YouTube channel
Read a book every week
Take a day off every month just for myself
Create a daily visual art habit
Do/Start a 365 Challenge
Finish my portion of the Jackman T book
Create a coloring book
Write 20 books in a year
Quit my day job
Get G’pa’s rose tattoed somewhere
Build a cat-proof Christmas tree
“KonMari” my things
Learn enough Yoga so I can practice in my living room
Do the A-Z Challenge in April
Publish my 2019 A-Z Challenge in May
Replace the living room sofa with a comfortable futon
Create a daily meditation habit
Go to one party at Sunshine’s house
Go to Diva’s summer party

I could go into detail on these, but maybe I’ll do that once I accomplish them. And they might not all happen this year, but what if they did? That would be pretty damn amazing.

I think I need to spend some time with this list. Do you have any suggestions for what I should add to it?