CRAFT, sleep, lack of caffeine, and other things flying through my head at a million miles an hour

Header photo

How much of that blog title will make it into the site URL, I wonder?

I need to craft something. Usually I get this urge in December after writing hard during November, but it’s here now. I want to cross stitch or embroider (I don’t know how to do that, by the way), or maybe figure out perler beads.

Painting would even do it at this point.

I’ve not been drinking caffeine lately, and I feel amazing. Here’s what happened:

I gave up caffeine. I went to bed at 9pm every night, woke at 6-ish. Felt pretty good.

But then I was doing laundry and the mini-fridge was stocked with Mtn Dew, so I grabbed one. And we had a bunch at home, so I had another. I brought one for lunch, I had one to wake up on the weekend, and I was feeling tired, and groggy, and so darn sleepy in the afternoon.

So I connected the dots (again – this is not the first time, but it is the first time it feels easy) and decided I liked feeling good in the mornings and I liked not yawning away my afternoons and I like how I feel when I’m not drinking the soda (specifically Mtn Dew, but any caffeinated soda will do).

So I stopped. Again

Maybe for good? It’s hard to tell with me.

I worry that I only write because I think it’ll be some big money windfall and that’s never going to happen, so why am I doing this again? I posted something on Twitter about it yesterday.

Ali clearly wasn’t talking about me in her thread, but OMG – what if that’s why I write? What if the only reason I keep trying to write is because I have it in my head that with hard work and constant publication, I too can get some of that giant cash wad? What if I don’t actually like it?

I have had this argument with myself about other things that I don’t think I have conviction with. It’s a thing.

I haven’t been writing lately, I’ve been playing a lot of Minecraft – Skyblock on Wabbit – and having a whole lot of fun there, so I’m going to ride it as long as it lasts. At some point I’ll get tired of it and move on to something else.

Like crafting. I need to f*ing craft something.

Header cow photo from by Pexels via Canva

1 Comment

  1. Here’s the thing…
    Medicine makes a ton of cash money. (Depending what you go into and if the student loans are paid. But, generally.) And anyone with reasonable intelligence can learn most of what one needs to do the medicine. Even machines are getting better at, and that’s just programming.

    Now, yes, if you leave monkeys or “loose AI” computers alone in a room, eventually they could spit out Shakespeare. But honestly? That’s not how it works. Writing takes a certain talent that can’t be taught. Not like medicine. (Apologies to any doctors who go above and beyond. Pretty sure you’re all fictional now though.) But if you’re GOOD at writing, someone eventually points out that it *can* make money. There’s certain hoops to jump through (marketing) so people can find the writing. And it isn’t known as an easy road. But it happens just enough that every writer knows it’s possible.

    But it takes passion to write. And money rarely hits on passion. (A handful of exceptions, very few who are good people.)

    Do the Space Cats exist ONLY because you wanted money? Is that the only reason I have the story to enjoy? When “ADMIRAL Fluffybutt” makes me giggle every time I say it, do you get a penny? Is the only joy you have from that book, and your others, that it generated some small amount of money?

    I believe there’s more in there. So I’ll believe for you. And will happily claw the eyes out of the bad voice that argues with me, like a good Fluffybutt fan.


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